September 23, 2024
Day 4
Today felt long and emotionally draining. I’ve attached some smiling photos, but Tate really didn’t feel well today. And I really didn’t feel all that happy. Regardless of how Tate is feeling, Homecare was coordinated for discharge tomorrow with lots of back and forth to make sure we have the new supplies to Y in Tates IV fluids into the continuous antibiotic on her single lumen central line. For about the 100th time, I wish I would’ve “won” the battle on a double. The thought was it would reduce infection risk with one less access point….
One of my favorite hospitalists was on through the weekend and today. He tried hard to coordinate some conversations for us but was told the now familiar to us response that the on call specialist didn’t want to overstep Tate’s primary provider. It’s so hard….these admissions open wounds and force a reality that we do well at ignoring on our daily basis. And discharge always feels so heavy as we try to settle back into that reality feeling like we bear the sole weight of it all. We love our primary team. But when they have no more words left for us either, there’s nobody left to defer to. It’s been a hard day.