Transplant +11
Day 74
Transplant +11
ICU Day 6
Tate is 15 today. Today is honestly defeating to post about. It wasn’t a happy day. It wasn’t a celebration. It felt sad. I feel cheated of the childhood years for Tate. And so far, cheated of her teenage years too.
Tate wasn’t lucid enough today to have any kind of celebration. Her sweet night nurses made her a banner and a sign. We had some balloons and gifts set out and waiting for her when she woke this morning. But she didn’t really notice any of it. It all was brought up to our BMT room this afternoon to save for a brighter day.
The struggles continued today. Delirium and visual hallucinations were joined by auditory hallucinations. Tate is able to have a full conversation with someone we can’t see. The visual hallucinating also have become much less glitter and rainbows and definitely more scary. There is anxiety and frustration with us not understanding what she’s referring to. We stopped a med hoping it would help but at 10 pm are still waiting for improvement. Instead of a clear headed Tate, we had to give her another med to shut down the agitation in hope that she will sleep. Add in uncontrolled pain and it’s about more than anyone can take.
The positives…Tates neutrophil count hit 100 today. This is a positive early sign that cells are trying to grow. We also switched rooms from the dark, cavernous side of the PICU to a sun filled room with a Mountain View. This should make getting up tomorrow a little bit easier. We actually took Nathan’s room who is now back in the BMT unit. Thank you for all the prayers for him.!