1 Year + 164
1 Year +164
Last night we attended Dream Night at the zoo. A few hours when the zoo is closed to the public and opens for medical kids and their families. It was really fun. All the ‘extras’ were included. Tates favorite was feeding the giraffe. As an observer, it struck me how special this night was for parents of kids who worry that their child’s condition and corresponding behaviors would be disruptive to more traditional families around them in a public space. There was a relief knowing that on this night, the families would just get it and no apology was needed. I enjoyed seeing those sweet kiddos just able to “be.”Thank you to our childlife friend, Lauren, for inviting us!
This last week I took Tate to a movie and then into a couple teen type clothing stores. It’s been a long time since Tate has gone to browse anywhere other than online. She was excited. But it was hard. Lots of teens were out shopping with both moms and in groups with friends. Seeing them out and knowing they were shopping for “back to school,” represented so much loss for Tate all wrapped in one. Tate was in her wheelchair. You could seee her central line and tubes coming out from under her shirt. She looked different than the groups of girls there on the outside, but her desires are the same. Teen stores aren’t very accessible. Big ridges and heavy doors to get in are just the start. Change rooms don’t accommodate a wheelchair and the “big ones” are used as storage. Clothes are hung up high or put in deep stacks on shelves. All of that can be navigated. What stings are the teens (including the employees) that are too uncomfortable to look at Tate in the face, hold a door or respond to her “Hi” when Tate sees them staring. I understand it comes from normal teenage insecurity, but It hurts.
As your teens go back to school, please teach them to greet the child who appears to have more on their plate than the typical HS stressors of a bad grade, whether a boy likes them, if they’ll start in a sports game or if they have the right shoes or outfit. Teach empathy and above all, kindness. Remind them to be the one in their group to offer a hello or a compliment to an unlikely friend. It only takes one.
There was one…a young employee who said hello, held a door and chatted about the latest cargo pocket Jean trends. Said with a smile and genuine kindness. My guess is that she has a story of her own. I’m so grateful for her and for someone teaching her that something so small makes such a big difference. Tate was too tired to try anything on or do more than browse. But she left feeling more encouraged than not because of just that one.